Are we innately selfish?

If we were, then the progression towards a society free of inequality becomes ever more problematic. By assuming that human beings by nature are competitive, aggressive, and self-interested, it becomes 'easy' to explain the issues and inequalities existing in society.

Karl Marx didn't think so. Marx viewed human beings as self-reflective about the world around us. More importantly, Marx explained that human beings are not innately selfish, although often times they can appear to be (Piekosz). Marx saw inequality in the world through the lens of economic production- explaining that human nature is extremely social, and that the social consciousness can be altruistic. Due to this social nature, human beings create things through ideas and actions. In this sense, human beings also produce for the function of group survival, and without these social inventions, human beings would be extinct.

He believed that humans are not equipped as social beings to act and interact in any other way, as the theory of species being imply that we are social by nature rather than individualistic (Piekosz). Marx expanded that the process of economic exchange teaches humans to be self-centered, self-serving, and act out of self-interest (Marx), (Piekosz). This fundamental Marxist logic is necessary to the idea of economic determinism- that the economic determines all levels of inequality within society. For Marx, the inevitable result of Communism is the prophesized solution to individualized and self-centered existence.

Today, it is not uncommon for people to see the prevalence of selfishness and attribute it to our nature. But if humans are innately selfish and competitive, what would explain cooperative and altruistic tendencies? It is then not a sound argument to only examine the selfishness prevalent across culture and societies without examining the altruism that is also prevalent. Existing peaceful and non-violent societies actively defends this statement.

Bruce Bonta of Penn State University writes that children in non-violent societies lack competitive games and are made to feel no more important than others. The peaceful societies devalue achievement because it leads to competition and aggressiveness- which in their view leads to violence, “The rituals of such societies reinforce cooperation, harmonious beliefs and behaviours (Bonta).” From this anthropological perspective, one can derive that cooperation and competitiveness are both bound to cultural factors rather than just genetic makeup. By the same token, even if humans are innately selfish, the existence of peaceful societies goes to illustrate that selfish tendency can be devalued and effectively controlled.

Paleoanthropologist, Richard Leakey, contends that humans are innately cooperative and food-sharing. Contrary to the violent images depicting cave men as violent and aggressive, no weapons of death and destruction have been found, “the evidence for aggression and violence does not exist (Detjen).” Matt Ridley, an accomplished scientist, also asserts that humans possess a cooperative nature with an instinct for reciprocity. Ridley states, “People are not naturally uncooperative and predatory towards each other. Nature- our genes- does much to keep us civil (Boudreaux, Ridley).” Hegemonic masculinity is yet another contemporary example of how competitiveness, aggression, and individualism are valued. Hegemonic masculinity privileges those who possess normative ideals and simultaneously oppresses those who don’t, “manhood is equated with power, over women, and over other men (Kimmel).” This cultural relation and social construct enforces a greater degree of patriarchy, alienation, and social inequality.

It is worth noting that in any perspective when discussing human nature, both selfishness and cooperation can be socially constructed. In relevance to societal value, Helen Fisher, an anthropologist from Rutgers University, draw an enlightening reference, “For millions of years, women worked… Double income family was the rule. Women were relatively much more powerful than they are today- almost as powerful as men overall (economically, socially, sexually). But as we moved into the agricultural revolution, male roles became much more important than female roles. (Fisher)”

Through Fisher’s statement, it is apparent that the culture and social relations today are not caused by innate selfishness. Rather, it is caused by ideas and events that have completely changed the dynamics of human relations. In the context of oppression, intersectionality theory holds that gender, class, and race have interlocking relations in the dynamics of social, cultural, economic, and political contexts (Stasiulis). This means that oppressive processes do not exist as an independent source. In light of anthropology findings and the emergence of intersectionality, it is of little surprise to realize that the inequality generated in the industrial revolution, and Marx’s views on human nature, are fundamental building blocks to his theories.

Although Marx has been critiqued for being reductive and naive, these contemporary examples illustrate why Marx’s ideas on human nature can and should be appreciated. For Marx, the inevitable result of Communism (contrary to conventional belief, China and North Korea is not a representation of Marx's communist ideals) is the prophesized solution to individualized and self-centered existence. Marx implies that because of human nature, communism is the natural and the inevitable. Although his Communism prophecy has not and may not ever come to reality, it is plausible to think that human nature is not innately selfish.

Thanks for reading =).

References

Bonta, B.Cooperation and competition in peaceful societies Psychological Bulletin , v.121 , p.299 , 1997.

Boudreaux, D. J. (1997). Matt ridley (1997) the origins of virtue. Constitutional Political Economy, 8(4), 359-361. http://search.proquest.com/docview/880349513

Detjen, J. (1986, Nov 08). Challenging the origins of mankind. Philadelphia Inquirer, pp. B.1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/293923950

Fisher, H. (2003, May 24). Human nature: A century for women? New Scientist, 178, 53-53. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/200422962?accountid=14771

Kimmel, M. (2002). Masculinity as homophobia: Fear, shame and silence in the construction of gender identity. In P. Murphy (Ed.), Feminism & Masculinities (pp. 182-99). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Marx, Karl “The Communist Manifesto in Marx/Engels Selected Works”, Volume One, pp 98-137. 1969 Progress Publishers.

Piekosz, Agata. “What is Inequality?” Lecture. University of Toronto. July 2012.

Stasiulis, D. (1999). Feminist intersectional theorizing. In V. Zawilski (Ed.), Inequality in Canada: A Reader on the Intersections of Gender, Race, and Class (2nd ed.) (pp 25-47).Don Mills: Oxford University Press.

Pain

Pain is an integral part to our lives and a rather natural reaction is to turn to pessimism in the face of emotional pain.

So many times I found myself asking: "Why?"

But through these difficult times, I came to certain realizations:

Through difficult times, we can better appreciate more walks of life. Through adversity, we learn to appreciate the journeys of others more: how everyone has fought their own battles in their own way to make it to where they are today. Understanding this sheds a more beautiful light towards humanity- also helping us to realize that we are not alone in most of our experiences.

We find courage through adversity. When we choose to accept failure, defeat, heartbreak, and learn to embrace our pain, we can often unfold our more compassionate self- forgiving those who have wronged us, misunderstood us, or misjudged us. The truth is, the most difficult part is not forgiving others, but rather, forgiving yourself.

Time and again, I am reminded that I am my own worst enemy. I do however, firmly believe that in the face of adversity, within the attempt to make peace with ourselves, we will eventually find the will to overcome our pain, and become our own greatest friend.

This will is rooted by courage, stemmed from strength, and empowered by you.

-On a side note, it can also be your own little anecdote to assist others in struggle =]

Synergetic Flight

Hi everyone! This will be the first guest post on this blog. My good friend put together an intriguing piece for us, give it a read!

"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed." 

Napoleon Hill 

Fascinated by the conduct of flying geese, Dr. Robert McNeish, wrote "Lessons From Geese" for a sermon in his church in 1972. Demonstrating the power of a good idea, his essay spread and has become a classic statement of the importance of teamwork.

We all have a lot to learn from the synergetic geese flock. It’s really beautiful how a flock of geese, or “skein” functions.

Let’s take a look at the facts and lessons within their cooperation:

• As each goose flaps its wings, it creates "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.
• People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

• When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.
• It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on one another's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

• The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
• We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

• When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation to follow, help, and protect. They stay with the goose until its demise or until it regains the ability to fly again. When the wounded/sick goose heals, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.
• We can learn a lot from the geese collaboration, we ought to stand by one another in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

• When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.
• We ought to stay as a collectivistic society, in formation with those headed where we want to go. There is virtue to be found in receiving their help and by giving our help to others in need.

It is inevitable that we encounter someone who will make our life more difficult, and it may also be inevitably important to cooperate with them.

Through these difficult times, it is never easy to simply shrug off the disrepute or disregard what some would consider, ignorant behavior. However, we can all benefit from even the most difficult of people, because when we are able to handle a situation by collaborating in conflict, we are well more prepared for our next conflict.

As cliché as it might sound, Friedrich Nietzsche coined the quote best: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

Why not find strength and strengthen others? Perhaps easier said than done, but let’s do it together for a stronger tomorrow.

Remember that people with high self-esteem are willing to give and receive. People who love themselves will tend to love others. People who respect themselves will tend to respect others. By the same token, people who are strong will tend to strengthen others.

Guest Author: G
Editor: Lawrence

Understand and Resolve Conflict!

In all interpersonal relationships, conflict is seemingly inevitable. Naturally, we have different beliefs, experiences, and attributes. Too often, both parties do not consider the other side's perspective. By not stepping into the other person’s shoes, blame can be assigned, and too often the wrong conflict handling style is used.

It’s a tragedy to let a beautiful relationship end due to conflict. Sometimes it begins with something petty- which then results in a destructively downward spiral- till seemingly the point of no return. Perhaps the most tragic part is that both parties may have wanted to resolve the conflict. In this situation, we often didn’t know what approach to take without appearing weak.

The key is communication- if the needs and wants of either party are left undiscussed and misunderstood, the relationship is bound to turn negative or unhealthy. More often than not, there are feelings of anxiety, anger, sorrow, guilt, frustration, helplessness, and blame. These are negative emotions- the emotions that give "conflict" a negative connotation. These emotions may cause us to hold grudges, which then causes us to think back to problems laterally- leading to more arguments.

Conflict in itself neither good nor bad, positive or negative; it is how we resolve conflict that makes conflict either constructive or destructive. This means that conflict can either bring people closer or tear them apart. 

Effective conflict handling style also involves emotional intelligence- which reflects strongly on career, health, and all inter-personal relationships. We all desire a healthy relationship with trust, respect, understanding, and joy: certainly, effective communication is a key factor.

If there’s a problem, talk about it, and if the other party talks, listen (really listen). It’s important to not worry about being right or wrong, but rather, worry about whether or not the two parties could come to a win-win situation.

Conflict handling styles: University of Wisconsin

Via LiveStrong: http://www.livestrong.com/article/157478-what-is-the-meaning-of-interpersonal-conflict/ :

Negative Behaviors:

“Conflict is best understood by examining the behaviour styles people use to meet their needs. Competing is a style in which you try to gain control over a situation by relying on aggressive communication and coercive power, with little regard for building relationships. Accommodating is a style in which you yield to the other person’s needs in an attempt to be diplomatic and preserve the relationship. Avoiding is a style that is common when you have negative view of conflict. You may think that the issue will blow over if it is avoided long enough. The conflict, however, continues to grow until it ruins the relationship.”

Positive Behaviors:

“Compromising is a style in which you gain and give in a series of trade-offs to reach a satisfactory compromise. This style has limitations, however, because everyone involved is still limited to their own perceptions, and this fails to build trust or risk-taking actions. Collaborating is a style in which you bring together individual needs towards a common goal. To produce a win-win situation, collaborating requires communication from everyone. It builds synergy in unrecognized possibilities and true resolution to the conflict.”

The next time you get into a conflict, stay calm; do your best to stay logical and rational; be in control of your emotions and don’t let your emotions overpower your intelligence. Be sure to avoid accusations, broken communication, and false assumptions. By doing this, you will instead allow for a satisfying relationship in collaboration and respect.

Application:

We aren’t always going to have the opportunity to talk it out or see the other party in person. In this case, writing a letter may be wise to help the both parties understand each other. This is a 6 part letter:

1. Write in consideration of their perspective, write out where you think they may be coming from- be sure to refrain from accusations or insults. 

2. Write about your perspective- stay rational and logical, refrain from being offensive, but state your feelings. 

3. Write in their perspective again, really put yourself in their shoes (but also let them know that you cannot read minds). 

It’s important to begin by addressing their perspective and end by addressing their perspective. Parts one and three combined should be around the same length of part two. This way, they know that you value their feelings and thoughts, showing respect, equality, and effort. By beginning in their shoes and ending in their shoes, it will be easier for them to see the effort you have put in. 

4. Explain why you are writing the letter (for establishing effective communication, resolving current conflict, because you care, etc). 

5. Indicate the conflict handling styles- positive behaviour and negative behaviour- not to point fingers, but rather, to come to a mutual understanding. 

6. Elaborate on how you would like to resolve the conflict and your hopes for the future.

Approach the conflict calmly and wisely, and things are likely be fine. But if the other party cannot come to a mutual understanding, know that not everything is in your control and that you have done your best.

Stay positive =].

Here’s a more complete description of conflict handling styles by University of Wisconsin: https://www.ohrd.wisc.edu/home/HideATab/LeadershipManagementDevelopment/ConflictResolution/AboutConflict/ConflictStyles/tabid/228/Default.aspx

Self-Acceptance

"If you don't love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others. - Dalai Lama

"Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand. In fact, your level of self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more self-acceptance you have, the more happiness you'll allow yourself to accept, receive and enjoy. In other words, you enjoy as much happiness as you believe you're worthy of" - Dr. Robert Holden (Psychology)

Hi everyone, I decided to drop the hiatus- I've been itching to write =). However, I will be keeping my posts relatively short (but sweet)!

Lets take a brief look at self-acceptance: Self-acceptance is a prerequisite for change to occur in clinical psychological and positive psychology. It is a concept that is deemed necessary for mental health. 

(Picture credit to my wonderful brother Dr. GC)

Self-esteem movement founder- Dr. Branden says that the practice of self-acceptance is expressed through the willingness to accept our real self (with honesty and without denial or evasion).

Dr.Branden emphasizes- we ought to accept that we think what we think, feel what we feel, did what we have done, and are what we are. Our fears, our thoughts, our actions, and our dreams are all a part of who we are- and we should not deny it nor evade it. 

When we practice self-acceptance, we willingly experience the facts (leading us to be more worry-free) of our being at a particular moment. Self acceptance is to refuse being our own enemy by making peace with ourselves. This is so important, and I've come to realize that we are often our own worst critic, our own worst enemy, and if willing, our own best friend. 

When we practice self-acceptance, we willingly accept any emotion or behavior as a part of us- at a particular time, regardless of whether or not it is to our liking. Dr. Branden calls this a virtue of realism: "respecting reality"- in regards to our self. 

It's so very applicable: "If I am confronted with a mistake I have made, in accepting that it is mine I am free to learn from it and do better in the future. I cannot learn from a mistake I cannot accept having made. Self-acceptance is the precondition of change and growth." Dr. Branden

As individuals who yearn to be healthy mentally and emotionally, we must learn from our mistakes. It's clear that if we desire to learn from our mistakes, we must first accept that we have made a mistake. Too often, we deny or evade our problems- by choosing flight in our "fight or flight response." We have to realize that we can learn from all our mistakes and misfortunes; we have to realize that it's necessary for positive change and growth; we have to realize that we are all human. This means that we ought not to continually criticize ourselves, but rather, that we accept our flaws and mistakes as a part of us at a specific time.

But this also doesn't mean that you accept your weaknesses and negative habits by doing nothing about any of it. It doesn't serve as an excuse to be lazy and having an easy way out. Certainly, this mindset will not lead us to positive progress or change. 

In practicing self-acceptance, you become aware of your characteristics and know better who you are. This is the overcoming of fear to look at yourself in an honest manner. How can we really improve ourselves if we don't even acknowledge who we really are? If we are in constant denial to think rationally, logically, and realistically, how can we ever make positive progress in an efficient and effective manner? 

"Keep your heart open for as long as you can, as wide as you can, for others and especially for yourself." - Dr. Morrie Schwartz (Sociology)

To accept your self doesn't mean that you go ahead and accept your failures by doing absolutely nothing about it. It means that because you now know what your failures are, you've learned to analyze and evaluated them more objectively, thereby gaining wisdom and knowledge. After this essential foundation-laying step, you get up once again after your fall to conquer your mistakes and improve yourself. 

It's a first step, but a necessary step, and Dr. Branden stated it as one of the 6 pillars to a positive self-esteem for good reason. 

We don't effective change by beating ourselves up. Rather, when we accept our self, we allow a positive change by being mentally healthy before striving towards our goals. 

Always realize that at a particular point and time, you did the best that you could do. Get to know yourself better: your values, your guilt, your motivation, and never be afraid to ask questions that are hard to answer. 

"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who doesn't ask a question remains a fool forever." - Chinese Proverb. 

If you are interested in looking more into self-acceptance, here's an insightful article by Psychologist Dr. Seltzer, a former Cleveland State University Professor: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/the-path-unconditional-self-acceptance

The World Happiness Report (purely reference post)

Hello my lovely readers- I am going on a 2 week hiatus starting today. I'm sad that I have little to no time to write at the moment. I've been really touched by the support and feedback you guys have given me, I mean it. I never thought I'd pick up hundreds of views within the first week, it's been super rewarding and inspirational. See you soon, stay positive =].


The World Happiness Report was released a few days ago. Here's an interesting/insightful synopsis of it by Ariel Schwartz at Co.Exist: [I will do an analysis of the report once I come back]

"Happiness isn’t easy to quantify, but a lot of people have tried: Bhutan has its Gross National Happiness survey, global research company also has its annual world happiness poll, and now Columbia University’s Earth Institute has put out the first World Happiness Report, which has the ambitious goal of surveying the state of happiness in the world today and looking at how the science of happiness plays into it.

The report, commissioned by the United Nations Conference on Happiness (yes, that exists), contains over a hundred pages of musings on world happiness. Here’s an ultra-abridged version of the findings.

• Richer people are happier than poorer people on average, but wealth is only one factor in overall happiness. The same goes for countries, where factors like personal freedom, lack of corruption, and social support are more important.

Cute Quotes

It's always nice to see a few heart-warming quotes. Enjoy:


“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.

You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

- Bob Marley